Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Numb

I feel like a ghost in my own life.
Time flies, and then it creeps. I feel like everything's normal, then when I think back, every day blends together. Every conversation is a flash, every memory a blur.

I keep telling myself that I have to push on. Find something that makes you happy, figure out what I want to do with my life. Its really hard, and I know I have never really understood what hard truly is, when it comes to a work ethic anyways. I have never lived my life strictly for myself, I have always been a giver. But in the last two years, I have been projected into a completely different life. One by one every significant thing that was a part of my life is gone, except my job. I'm trying to realign myself, but all I feel like I'm doing is blocking all the bad shit out in some blur. I'm not dealing with anything, or really even accepting it. But I have to move on.

I don't want to feel numb, but I do.

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